Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27 NKJV

My Momma Always Said…

Momma always told me to leave things better than I found them. I know that a statement like that is kind of “Forest Gump-like,” but Momma was right. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t always been easy—but I have tried to take that statement to heart.

“Things” are one thing, but what about “people?” How do we leave “people” better than we found them?

For many of us, this may imply a big “about face” for us. Or the truth is, that if we were totally honest, we have made it a habit to treat people, how it best suits us! Especially in the church!

Personally, we have all heard “church people” share experiences where they summarily “told somebody off!” That is, if they feel that they have been slighted; they justify being “short” with them; and then saying godly things like “God’s gonna’ just have to forgive me!”

Or even better, “It is time out for church—don’t nobody treat me that way!”  We  rationalize and justify our actions, concluding that they got what they deserved!

But if we haven’t figured out how to treat people in general, then what are our chances that we will be different at home in the way we treat our families? Perhaps, it’s time that we ask ourselves the question of regarding our families:

• • Will they be better off for having known us?
  • Will we leave them better than we found them?

Spiritual Priesthood

As men, our mindset would have us believe in earnest, that we are doing everything right. That’s just how we are!

We get up every morning and go to work. We bring our paycheck home. We chastise our children when we need to; and we swiftly mete out correction. Mostly, we do what we learned…by what was done for us!

But, what about our family’s spiritual life? The truth is, that for all we do—we often neglect our family spiritually.

We are called to be the priest of our homes, and to bring godly instruction and godly wisdom into our homes. But how do we ensure that our families—especially our wives are growing as God would desire?

Think about it. Adam was instructed by God—and he was supposed to pass that instruction to Eve, his wife. The failure is often noted that Eve did what she did to initiate the fall from grace…but it was Adam who somewhere along the line, failed in his assignment first.

• • I love my wife, but as I have learned after many years of marriage, that while that was good—it simply is not enough! 
  • I work so that she doesn’t have to—but still, that is not enough.
  • I buy her things and have given her (well, okay…God has given her) beautiful children—but none of those things are enough! 

 

The only thing that has brought true joy and true fulfillment into my wife’s life, is for her to grow spiritually, increasing her self-worth! Sounds difficult? Well, you be the judge!

Husband and Father…Covenant?

As a husband and a father of three daughters, I understand that I have great spiritual responsibilities that exceed the mere fact that I am my children’s father and my wife’s husband. Not only am I related to my family but we share a blood covenant fulfilled through Christ!

We are the children of the Most High God, and that makes my children spiritually equal to my wife and me in our individual relationships to Christ. I must see them as God sees them! I must see them as daughters of Christ!

Without Spot or Blemish

Even when we look at the Word of God in Ephesians 5:25-27, the declaration is made for us to love our wives as Christ loves the church; and (to follow the example of Christ), to present our wives back to God without spot or blemish.

The essence of this scripture shows us that, God has tasked us with the awesome responsibility to make our wives better than we got them—and to certainly not make them worse. Furthermore, we recognize that as parents, we must provide an example to our children of not only who God is, but also to set the standard that establishes how He wants His children—our wives, our sons and our daughters—to be loved!

Brother, Where are You?

This means that sometimes, helping our wives grow is just by not getting in God’s way as He works to mature her. So what about the rest of the time? How do we ensure that our wives have an opportunity to grow?

First and foremost, in order to help our wives grow; we need to be growing as well. Unfortunately, this is a challenge because many men haven’t seen enough examples of a husband and a wife that are growing together in Christ.

In fact, most pastors would quickly assert the same sad truth, as our churches are often filled with women who are going after God—but their husbands have gone missing! And what that means for our women, both married and single, is that often—they find themselves with God—waiting for the godly men that He has promised; who never seem to arrive!

Okay, where does that leave us brothers? Hopefully it leaves us with the renewed understanding that God expects more out of His men.

And while that may seem like it is a great responsibility—it’s only because it is! But praise God we don’t have to go at it alone.

God has already placed within us everything that we need—it just needs to be supercharged with the supernatural anointing of God. That is, godly wisdom and godly discernment, allowing our wives to thrive and not just survive living with us!

The Rest of the Story…

In all honesty, this has always been a great concern for me. I have even asked my wife on occasion:

“Has your life WITH me been as good as it would have been WITHOUT me?”

And I ask the question in all sincerity—I really need to know. I need to know NOW! I cannot wait until I lie on my deathbed and have my wife whisper something crazy like, “…now I can finally live…!” 

So my word for you my brother is this: start today!

• • Check out where your wife is in the spirit: hear her heart.
  • And the good news is this—while my wife is maturing, she continually gets the victory in Christ;
  • But I also know, that it doesn’t end there because for every victory she gets…I know that I’ve got that victory as well!