Life is Hard…and Then You Die

As kids we always heard this statement. And to be truthful, I didn’t really understand the words. I mean sure, I know what the words mean, but I couldn’t relate to them. Everything is hard—but you just buck up, and press on a little harder. But that last part of the phrase…that last part just kind of hangs with you in an un-celebratory fashion, sort of like an ugly tie. Everyone sees it, but nobody has the guts to talk about it.

I think that right now I am kind of numb. After traveling to St. Louis, for my wife’s cousin’s funeral, we were immediately hit with the knowledge that a brother at the church had died. Both deaths were of the “suddenly” and “unexpected” kind, and they have honestly left me kind of numb. In each, it is a clear reminder that we don’t have the liberty to “put off for tomorrow” if there is any way—at least for the most important things.

Life is precious, and we must choose to regard each day that we are on earth as a day when we are consciously planting the seeds for the type of harvest that we desire.

But I think the most difficult thing was not their ages, even though one person was barely a year older than me—and the other was seven years younger. What was most difficult was twofold: the fact that they didn’t have a chance to finish what they had started; and that each of the men carried with them, a certain sadness. As we press forth, I will endeavor to deal with each topic separately.

So Much to Do…So Little Time

In our worldly system, it is easy to get so narrowly focused on the “almighty dollar,” that you can easily lose track of your personal goals. And when that happens, you look back after a few years and wonder what have I accomplished for me? Fortunately, that is not my personal issue because I dropped out of that rat-race, to do something for me and my family.

In fact, I have such a sense of urgency that I am bothered at times on whether the seeds that we have been planting will produce a harvest “soon enough.” That is, there is an urgency in knowing that not only does stuff need to happen now, but it must happen soon enough to ensure that we are able to provide for a time when we don’t want to work—or can’t work.

It is in this area that I am concerned the most. And there are other areas as well, because I want to ensure that my legacy is complete in being able to leave an inheritance to my children—and their children’s children.

Death Doesn’t Wait

See death doesn’t wait. There is no, “hold on…just a minute.” In that, for most of us, death comes at an inconvenient time. And once it comes, all the things that we promised to do tomorrow will never get done—or at least never get done by us.

Think about the conversations that you have today. Think about how you will be remembered by those who love you based on the last thing that you said to them! How easy would it be to apologize if you knew today was the last day of your life?

In fact, for my wife’s cousin, he had a wonderful opportunity to speak with two of his three sons. The third son however, was upset with him. And I can promise you one thing: it really doesn’t matter today what they were upset about!There will be no two party resolution. Instead, it will be the one party, wrestling with unresolved issues for a considerable part of their lives.

And to make this point more obvious. Each of these men in their death, left sons…sons who still have a great need to be fathered to some degree. It is now left for the wives or the mothers to pick up the pieces and collectively move on with the rest of their lives.

Raison D’etre!

Think about it, we are all granted a measure of time that we can do what it is that we choose to do with it. For some, our time is short—and for others it is long. The measure of our effectiveness in living is not the time that we are here—but what we do with that time.

For most of us, it takes a lifetime to realize this whole matter about time—and then it’s too late! Most of the time is spent on figuring ourselves out…and what we will do with our lives! In fact, we are all born with a measure of selfishness that we have to mature through to get to our purpose in life. That is, our “Raison D’etre” as the French say or in English, “our reason to be (or exist).”

That’s what makes the rest of this conversation so difficult. The reason for that difficulty is that many if not most of us never “walk” into our purpose. The reasons are many, and they range from death of a loved one early in our lives to bullying, homelessness, molestation and the list literally goes on. But whatever it is, we do have a way out through Christ…but we must diligently seek Him (the Lord) to get there.

The Heart of a Man

The heart of a man is inconsistent with his anatomical structure. It belies the truth of who he is. In truth, the heart of a man is a delicate thing. When our heart is affected, we are in some ways damaged and have need to be repaired. When our heart is damaged, we lose our sense of purpose. We may find ourselves looking for other ways to be healed. Christ offers a solution—but so does the World. We must choose Christ!

David (not his real name)

“His eyes looked different,” said his wife. “We had just finished eating and laughing and talking. But now our sons had left as I put things away. But he didn’t look right. We talked about calling the paramedics. I told him to wait, but when I turned around, he was gone.” But the reality was that in his fatigued state, he must have felt that if he could just lay down for a minute, all would be well.

“But our sons came back moments later and inquired about where dad had gone. I told them he must have gone upstairs. They followed, and then I heard them shouting and praying. Immediately I ran upstairs and found him face-down on the bed, but he wasn’t moving. He was gone. He had gone home to be with the Lord!”

After talking to his wife for a while, she let us know that David’s mother had died earlier that year and that most of his life, it was just the two of them. David was still grieving from his mother’s death.
“David’s heart was broken—it had never healed…and that grief broke his heart.”

James (not his real name)

He had just taken a new job. He was concerned whether he was going to be physically able to do the job. Sure, in his mind he could, but now at fifty-something, he was concerned that the work would literally be too much for his heart.

However, today was the fourth of July. Today he would kick back and enjoy himself, planning to head over to his mother’s house and spend the day with her. Perhaps, he would even be able to see his sons and his grandsons.

But for some reason, he was tired. More tired than usual. He called his mother and let her know that he wouldn’t be coming over that day. His last words to her were that, “I want to come over, but I need to rest…” And that was it. He went home to be with the Lord.

The full truth was that James carried a deep hurt in his heart. In fact, he had carried it around for a long time. James had the tragic misfortune to be the first on scene when his father committed suicide. The graphic image of what he saw never left his consciousness. For a while drug usage was his remedy to mask the pain…but, in the end, it was the Joy of the Lord that gave James peace.

Men’s Hearts Are Failing

I think my wife sums it up best. Men’s hearts are failing…and not because they aren’t good men. But because life is challenging enough and Men collectively carry a spirit of warfare that inclines us to do battle. That is both battles that are visible and battles that are not visible. I think that is the fear that my wife has for me…and in desperation she wants to ensure that I don’t go out like that!

What am I saying? For most of our lives, we as men battle in the physical. And in those battles, we train vigorously. We lift weights and we run and we measure ourselves against the competition. Why do we measure ourselves? Because we want to be sure that in the battle, we are prepared…not to survive—but to win.

Unfortunately, as we mature…the battles that we face are not in the visible realm. But they are battles none-the-less, and these are not war games…these are battles to the finish. These battles are meant to destroy us. To take whatever measure of difference that we were supposed to make—and to make it of no account. And what’s the fastest way to do that? To allow us to fight a spiritual battle in a physical way! Lord God help us!

Scripture reminds us, that our battles are not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual powers and wickedness, in fact, we know the scriptures well—but we fight against our very nature!

Ephesians 6:12-13 NKJV

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

2 Corinthians 10:4 NKJV

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,

The-Master-Who-Explodes

The challenge right now, is that the very words that I write are for men everywhere and even for me. It’s for my best friend, my college roommate who is at this time going through some very real challenges in life and he needs to know that the battle—the fight that we are in is unto death. We just have to decide if it will be our death—or the death of every demonic move of the enemy that threatens to destroy us.

I get it babe…that’s for my wife. I understand her pleas to pray…not that she or I don’t pray—but we have to leverage our assets…and we have to pray together in agreement and declare the moves of God on our behalf. Even in that she reminded me of the battle of David in the Valley of Baal-perazim.

In this critical battle, David asks the Lord if he can defeat his enemies. For most men, we don’t even ask the Lord—we just go fight! But the Lord responds to David and tells him that, he will deliver his enemies into his hands. After the victory, David names the place of the battle Baal-perazim, which means, the Lord has broken through my enemies! This is translated in the Message Bible as the, “The-Master-Who-Explodes!”

So, slowly…I am beginning to understand. I cannot continue to battle in only my strength…for the Bible even tells us that as we get older, our physical strength will fail us. Every wife stands in the unenviable position of watching their husbands labor so hard on the behalf of their family. But my wife also has spent a considerable amount of time speaking to the wives whose husbands have left here too soon—and she doesn’t want to have any part of that in her house. And so it shall be, in Jesus’ mighty name! Amen!

So the question we should ask today: Lord, will you deliver my enemies into my hands?

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